Simile Smile

I taught the Eyos (Eight-Year-Olds) about similes and metaphors. Not only will it help them understand the verbal world better, but I want them to be able to use symbols in their writing. The metaphor lesson will be discussed later, but here’s a little snatch from the simile lesson.

I have found that learning more abstract concepts takes a few days to process. Students can tell me definitions, but the true meaning of those definitions isn’t realized until those application moments that teachers pray for. My simile application moment came during the the daily ritual of smacking around two of my students.

We have a class rule against violence, but there is one exception: the Paper Passers. I have two paper passers that…well…pass out papers. The spoonful of sugar that helps this medicine is the paper passers’ request for a beating. I goes something like this. Mr. Bushman: Paper Passers? Paper Passers: Yes, sir? Mr. Bushman: Come forward. [The paper passers walk to the front of the room. Mr. Bushman looks at paper passer #1 in the face.] Paper Passer #1: Hard. [Mr. Bushman takes half of the papers and hits him/her over the head, then looks to the now-chuckling paper passer #2.] Paper Passer #2: Hard. [Smack. More giggling.]

For the first few weeks, there are three choices. Hard, medium, and soft. As the year goes on, hard becomes very hard, then very, very hard, then super-duper hard. And so on. I am still amazed when little “Florence” asks for a hard smacking. “Florence” can’t project her voice from the third row to my ears. She is extremely shy and does her best to not be noticed for anything–except when she is paper passer. When she is paper passer, her face gets really red, but she still walks to the front of the room, removes whatever hair appliances are making her look so very cute, clutches her eyes closed, then says “Hard.” She doesn’t laugh, but her smile informs me that she won’t be shy forever.

“Jacque” is the kid who is always looking for the boundaries. I like him for this reason. One day, he pulled a fast one. I looked into Paper Passer #1’s face and she said “Very, very, very, VERY, very, very…” and was interrupted by a smack over the head. She joined the class in a hearty chortle. “Jacque” liked his, and so began into his string of verys. I gave Jacque his smack on the head, then he looked up at me and said through his grin “soft.” The class erupted into a chorus of gleeful ohs. As I said, we have a rule against violence, and the only reason I get away with the paper passer beatings is that they ask for it. If a paper passer doesn’t give a request, I just hand him/her the papers and it is over. For “Jacque” to ask for very soft and to get very hard–although it was his full intention–was a violation of our agreement. I took a moment to apologize to “Jacque” and ask for his forgiveness. I put out the idea that I was afraid I might make this mistake again, and so verbally considered abandoning the beatings. This was booed down out of hand. “Jacque” won and so did I.

Then on one fateful day, “Janice” was my paper passer. She got to the front of the room and said “Soft as a feather.” My face lit up. “Did you hear that everyone? Janice just used an excellent simile. Say it again Janice.” Sheepishly, but proudly, Janice repeated her simile and the students gave the obligitory shout out (w00t, w00t). She handed out the paper and we did out math. But now, the precedent was set.

My paper passers continued to say “soft as a feather” for a few times, but it didn’t take long to discover that the value of a metaphor was its novelty. This is when similes were actually understood. They’ve come up with dozens. As hard as a rock, as soft as falling snow, as hard as Arnold (Schwarzenegger–their phonics teacher), as soft as a hair. Time passed and “Jacque” was a paper passer again. He marched up to the front and spoke with the confidence of a saved evangelical:

As medium as a bull!